i've got my interview question/answers ready!

i've always hated interviewing...whether it was giving one or having one. in my previous life i always stuck to Behavioral Interviewing. It was a sure fire way to get the other person to talk more than you. you also knew right away if they were telling the truth on their resume! it hasn't been that long since i've interviewed...so i'm not totally OD'ing on my ADsnts. and really, a part time job is way easier to interview for than a fulltime one. i took a quick minute and found these questions on the internet to help me prepare!


How would you describe yourself?
Overweight and not totally committed to not being that way…

What are your long range and short range goals and objectives?
To get you to like me enough to hire me and pay me what I’m asking.

What specific goals other than those related to your occupation, have you established for yourself for the next ten years?
Not kill my children
Loose ten pounds
Not go all the way grey
Get my kids through high school without ever having to bail the out of jail

What do you really want to do in life?
Tumm tuck
A prefect size C boob lift
Get myself a silver BMW convertible
Have a beer with oprah and gail

Why did you choose to apply here?
Well, you are one of the few places that are offering part time evening work that hires ‘older ladies’ like myself.

Can you explain this gap in your employment history?
Oh yeah, I love that store to!

How well do you work with people? Do you prefer working alone or in teams?
I don't mind working with people during the day and then I like to be left the hell alone after 9 pm

How would you evaluate your ability to deal with conflict?
Time outs and taking away privileges…

Have you ever had difficulty with a supervisor? How did you resolve the conflict?
I called him really bad names behind his back

What's more important to you -- the work itself or how much you're paid for doing it.
oh, i get it..this must be one of those questions your business instructor told you to ask...

What do you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
Finishing a palades DVD
Tequilla

How would a good friend describe you?
Depends on who’s listening

Describe the best job you've ever had.
The one where I got to spend all the money on myself….

Describe the best supervisor you've ever had.
The one that loved ME the BEST of course!

Why should I hire you?
Because I’m cute AND desperate!

How do you determine or evaluate success?
Who ever has the better purse·

In what ways do you think you can make a contribution to our company?
I’ll come to work as often as you need me because frankly…I love getting out of my house…I’ll occasionally bring cookies or other baked goods on co workers birthdays.

Do you have any hobbies? What do you do in your spare time?
I’m here – this IS my spare time and no, my knees aren't knobby.

Have you ever been fired or forced to resign?
Like I’d really answer this question honestly??

What qualities should a successful manager possess?
Better wardrobe than me, take me out for a beer, tell me all the gossip about the people I work with and let me pick my hours b4 anyone else.

Do you consider yourself a leader?
Did you say Leader or Feeder?

What are the attributes of a good leader?
Generally they walk in front of you…and sometimes ask 'if you're happy and you know it do a shot!!

Describe the workload in your current (or most recent) job.
You don’t’ have enough time for me to answer that question…why don’t I just dump the contents of my purse on the table..that will answer it for ya!

Which is more important: creativity or efficiency? Why?
What ever pays better and because money makes the world go 'round dummy!!

What's the most recent book you've read?
Clifford goes to School and My First Word Book

How do you work under pressure?
i withold sex until he does what i want him to do.

Are you good at delegating tasks?
Yes, I tell myself when to do the laundry and When to do the dishes…and I’ve found..i listen pretty well.

What's one of the hardest decisions you've ever had to make?
To get out of the bed in the morning or a close second might be to put sheets with throw up on them in the washing machine rather than the trash can!

What interests you about our products?
They come with a discount if you hire me and i'll be a better gift giver!

What do you know about our competitors?
They have an Aveda salon and they aren't hiring right now.

What two things are most important to you in your job?
Not wearing panty hose.
That you tell my children (if they call) that I’m in the bathroom even if I choose to leave early because you can bet that i'm NOT going home.

Are you seeking employment in a company of a certain size? Why?
Well, I’m currently a size 14…but with the discount I’ll probably be motivated to get into a 12 to really look Hot in Lauren.

What are your expectations regarding promotions and salary increases?
That I get them quickly without a whole lot of effort.

What criteria are you using to evaluate the company for which you hope to work?
Whoever calls me first.

Are you willing to relocate?
Hell yeah, tell me when you open a store in Greece.

What major problem have you encountered and how did you deal with it?
Well, I carried around this giant thing in my tummy for 10 months..and then I grunted real hard and it came out.

What have you learned from your mistakes?
Pull and Pray

**ok that one is alittle much..but i just had to answer it...
soooooooooo,
in a couple hourse i'll be at the department store to beg for a job. you know, i can quote scenes from Are You Being Served on PBS...mzzz brawmmmmmmmms are you freeeeeeeeee???

let you know how it all turns out!!
i did pick out a cute outfit..but i dont' have another lady to show it to...so....Mr. K thinks it will do....
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interview cancelled...manager called away by family emergency...will call on wed. damn, i just wanted to cry.....i got all pumped up!!