for those of you who continue to be 'worried' about me not showing emotion...and for those of you who have somehow decided that i am so strong..
today i layed myself at the foot of St. Joseph (literally) at church....cried so long and loud that some poor lady came up behind me and gave me a tissue and said that she prayed a rosary and hoped that it will help....
felt good.....i guess......
eyes have burned all day...
can't seem to keep my temper in check....so if i've been nasty please forgive me....
feeling very disconnected....keep finding myself staring off into nowhere...
i want to lay down and sleep....
and i'm convinced that i'm tired....
then i go back into our bedroom.....
look at the bed.......
and i just can't 'fall into it' yet....
sat in the hot tub last night after everyone went to bed...
sat in doug's spot....
and begged him to just come sit with me for a minute or two.....
i miss him.....i just miss him so very very much.....
i kept telling him to take me with him.....
but........he can't...
and i must keep marching onward.
7 comments:
Sheri,
It is the normal process of loss.
Theses are the steps that will lead you someday to acceptance.
Your friends and family will help you through.
strong does not = invincible - it just means picking up the shattered pieces and putting them all back together as best they will fit. you'll do that.
I wish we could take away your pain.
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Mary Stevenson, 1936
Dear Sheri,
I am so sorry for you loss! Doug was a WONDERFUL FATHER AND HUSBAND TO YOU ALL! I wish that my children's father was only half the man Doug was to your family!
Doug was (AND IS)the ultimate role model for my children of what a father SHOULD BE!!!!!
Sheri and family your are blessed with an another guardian angel in God's Kingdom!!!!
We should all be so lucky!
We are all so very sorry for your loss but Heaven's GAIN!!!!
Cry when you want to and smile when you want to. Emotions... what a great thing to have.
The next few days, months,years will have so many different emotions.
Enjoy all the great memories that you have had with Doug & still will have with him.
You are surrounded by people who care so deeply for you. Cry, smile, laugh, yell...feel what you need to feel. And when you are ready to take a step, you won't do it alone.
I wish there was something I could do or say to take your pain away,
I agree with winelover strong does not = invincible, I cna not image what you and the family are going thru I hope you do know you have alot of family and friends that are here for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
WW
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