the last day for artificial flowers

so, i've had this list compiling in my head of things i was going to do once the nanny was hired. it is a long list (of course...cuz..ya know...i like makin' them) two of the top items were 1. going to see my dear friend WW from the college i used to work for and 2. get back out to the cemetery and purchase our memorial monument. i did both today.....

first went down south to the cemetery. i had made the apt. last week so they knew i was coming to do the final paperwork on our memorial stone. you'll recall (or maybe not) a while back when i was telling you all about the fact that in order to use the Engaged Encounter logo on our stone, i had to get formal approval from the organization. once i figured out who to call...it was easy to get the approval..although, i am the first (they are aware of) to use the EE logo on a memorial stone. also, when the big girls and i went out to choose daddy's camping spot we also took home a book of granite samples. we had chosen a granite quite easily...so approval letter and sample book in hand (check book to)i headed down. Mr.S happily poured me a coffee and proceeded to explain to me the options of the lettering and how the 'frost' looks on a granite. he also sent out a quote request for my design. it came back quick....the granite we had chosen was quarried in Norway and would have to be imported prior to being finished....mr. s wrote on a slip of paper and pushed it across the desk to me with the quote including taxes etc. it made me giggle...reminded me of negotiating a car sale....
i was surprised at the price and began asking questions about how the charges are broken out....
so, i then asked if there were other granites i could look at and he gave me another sample book to look at.
it had some really nice granites....i found one that i liked even better than our original choice. i took the sample outside to see how it would look in the light of day....really very pretty....and it is quarried in Canada...i just imagined the NAFTA joke my husband would make about that....and i knew that was what i needed to choose.
mr. s sent that out for quote....quote came back quickly and was absolutely closer in line with what i wanted to spend......
installation will be prior to memorial day and i just can't wait to see it......
i think anyone who visits will like it....

I want to offer a sincere THANK YOU to our many generous friends/family/family friends who made this purchase possible. I let many of you know how i planned on using the gifts....and i am happy to say that i finally made good on my promise...

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i also planned on going and visiting hubby's camping spot once i was done. while i was waiting on the quotes..i took the time to read the cemetery rule book....rule book indicated that only during the months of nov-mar were artificial flowers able to be used.....a mild panic ran through me.....i had been worried that i would get there and the little tree would be gone...reading that then...i was sure it would be gone....
i hopped in the car and headed up to our spot,,,,desperatly trying to keep my breathing under control and tears at bay....of course as i wound my way through the cemetery passing so many familiar names...including my own family,,,i began to get upset that i wasn't going to see the little tree.....

i pulled up along side of our area
i could see the tree....
the ornaments were sparkling in the sunlight.....
oh boy oh boy....i couldn't get out of the car quick enough....
as i approached....the first thing i see is the dirt....there is still the outline of dirt....no grass of course....that through me into a crying jag and i dropped to my knees and had a good little cry...just me and our tree...

it felt good cuz last night i had one of those 'come back to me' cries...and those are so damn draining....and you'll think i'm crazy...but there are times when i'm having 'those' cries that i really think that my husband will just reappear right there next to me.....like God will suddenly say...oh..........Sheri.........alright...........you can have him back.....geeze...if you miss him That much...take him back...

strange hu???? i read in my grieving books that this type of mourning is normal...so don't go worrying about me...

i'm not the only one that has been missing my guy....
there were two different types of artificial flowers there also....
i hope that they were able to have a good moment with him.

as i was there the cemetery guys pulled up in the section behind me and began pulling up all the artificial flowers. pulling up the wreathes and flowers and decorations made a strange sound....it was loud.....it was violent almost....
it is there job.
it is the rules....
i got the hell out of there....

i saw our tree.....

in a few short months i'll have a nice memorial to sit in front of....
and......
if you ever go to see my guy....
take a small rock with you...
place the rock on top our the memorial stone..
it will be a cool accounting of visitors....
in the mean time though.....

fresh flowers only....today was the last day for artificial flowers....