247 miles later.....

the big race is almost here.
tomorrow morning will be our last training run.
i think it is a 5 at 6 morning....
it is a typical thing with me...
i'm never exactly sure of how far and when we were running....
it wasn't until yesterday that i even looked at the course map...
i think it is an extension of my blinders theory - what i don't know won't hurt me...
crazy girl i am!!

anyway...as i become reflective over this whole running thing...
i just can't help but be amazed...not only at myself...but amazed at everyone in my trotter group. some of us had run before (not me) and some of us couldn't even finish the first mile the first day (that would be me)way back in June. I've fallen in love with the gals i run with....we all have a story - we all have our reasons for running - and we all have our own little wiggle when we run. we've shared our eating habits and our knee repair ideas. some of us have learned to take ice baths (not me) and some of us have learned the hard way (that would be me) how important water is to your body. we have felt the shear force of finishing a run...being overwhelmingly satisfied with your body after a 10 mile run and how skinny you feel 6 hours later.

running became a big mind game for me.
way back in the beginning of the summer...
pushing through mile 2 took everything i had
by august it was mile 5-6 that took my guts away
and then all of a sudden...
like magic....
out of no where....
i'm on a treadmill listening to an NPR podcast
i look down
and i've already passed mile 3
and i haven't had to argue with my self one bit.

how the Hell did that happen???
oh and if you want to know a secret....how i push myself on a treadmill
i do my last four minutes or so
crankin' up the speed to almost 6 and i put
a live version of
PROUD MARY on my ipod
me and Tina!!!
rollin
rollin
rollin on the river
suddenly i'm not arguing with myself to keep going....i'm arguing with myself not to sing out loud!!!

there have been moments when i've wondered exactly why i answered Catherine's email.
was there some deep dark need lurking inside of me to run.
NO
had been something i'd always wanted to do?
NO
did the timing of the training period and then the race have any kind of healing factor for me?
PERHAPS (it does get me closer to our one year aniversary)

but you know me..
i'm not such a deep - intellectual person (although i think Rose would say i fancy myself one)

i think the Honest to God reason i did this....
when i am crawling out of bed at 5:30 am
denying myself coffee
drinking water and eating a damn hard boiled stinky egg for breakfast

what is going thru my mind.....
what mantra am i repeating back to myself....?????

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FAT RUNNER?????????