a couple weeks ago i was telling a girlfriend that i was thinking i might be perimenopausal...that i am a complete crazy freakshow about one week before my period..i was having irregular heart beats and an overwhelming desire to just sleep sleep sleep....
her response was two fold
1. are your periods still regular? yep...still a 28 dayer
2. have you mourned doug's death yet? well.....sure...its been 2 1/2 years...surely i have managed to do that somewhere along the way.

she suggested that i seek out some therapy...
the thought of going to talk to someone didn't seem like a bad idea.
told her i'd consider it.

i made sure that all the children participated in a Grief counseling program...i make sure that we discuss their father frequently...we visit daddy's camping spot and celebrate his life with lunch at Bob Evans and field trips to the bowling alley. we maintain close relationships with doug's parents. the children are doing well in school and participating in athletics. V is learning how to drive and R is finding her way up the teenager ladder.

i am now a pseudo runner and have run 5 Half marathons....i have a regular sitter to ensure i'm getting out with grown ups once a week...i've been successful with weight watchers and am looking better than i have in years....

doesn't that all mean i've mourned the death of my husband?