Oh, I’m going to be so hot when I get skinny.
I have gone through periods in my life where I was reaching for a quick fix for weight control.
I’ve purchased equipment and pills…..counted calories and done weight watchers…I’ve joined gyms and worked out three times a week.
I’m guilty of watching those commercials that claim to have the miracle drug to end your physical disgust.

Since we moved here I’ve been struggling with body image. Why is that…well, when I took one look at the pictures from our going away party I thought I would die….i mean…literally drop off the face of the earth. Now I won’t go blaming anyone…but come on girls…couldn’t someone have told me how bad my hair looked??? Gee wiz I looked awful!!

After we got settled in and I got my cookbooks out I began to experiment with recipes. I also discovered that Starbucks had a drive through and the Java Chip was the best thing since sliced bread!! Despite that, Douglas and I seemed to be loosing weight. I thought it was our newly rekindled love life…(now we know different unfortunately but…)
I stopped loosing weight when things got hairy around here.

After a cholesterol check it became clear that I needed to ‘get moving’. It was the motivation I needed I guess….i started to go to Jazzersize…it has been fun and I have been faithful to the cause….but you know what…I’m NOT any skinnier…I’m NOT any cuter!! I’m NOT in a size 8 or anything….so…………..

I find myself in that place that we women can sometimes find ourselves…. looking for a quick fix………the magic pill………the ONE thing to CHANGE our big fat asses!!!
No, I haven’t sent away for the AB rocket and I haven’t bought that Ali stuff (thanks…but I don’t want to crap my pants all day long) (hm, maybe I’m not desperate enough)….
I purchased a Pilates DVD and some handweights.
I’m not exactly sure what the difference between Pilates and Yoga is…
I do know that I have taken Yoga class ONE time with M and A and I spent the whole time worrying I was going to let out a big loud fart…so I never went back. And neither did they…ha!
(one benefit to Jazzercise is the music is too loud to hear a fart!!)
The DVD is broken up into sections….big fat ass, big fat gut and big fat arms and then a section for just the all round sweat until you have a freekin’ heart attack.
I’ve done the DVD twice now. Both times I’ve wound up with LU sitting on me or Mr. K climbing on my back….
The DVD shocks me into the reality that I am out of shape.
There are moves on this DVD that I can’t even Will myself to do.

But I’m hopeful that at some point I will.
See, here comes that ‘hook’ that comes with the whole weightloss idea.
I’ve done the tape twice and I’m already convinced I’m on my way to a size 2….
And just for those of you that feel temped to offer some weight loss idea…SAVE IT!!!
I know the routine…Eat well and exercise!!!
I DO eat well…I love fruits and veggies….
I also LOVE bread ad butter!!
I like lean meats and fish…
But there are those times when Chicken Nuggets are just EASIER for me to COOK damn it!!!


It just sucks that those candy bars fit inside my face!!!
It sucks that I just can’t stop at ONE slice of bread
Do you think we could get legislation passed to add a Sin tax to fattening foods..or heck…what about fast food??
I could ask to have my mouth wired shut…but I had a friend once that had to have that done and she was miserable….and she drank all her food through a straw….i remember seeing her put some ‘food’ in the blender….that really grossed me out….her too I’ll bet.

I want the magic pill.
I want it to be easy.
I want to be a size 8 hell, I’ll take a 12 at this point.
I want to be cute and sexy.

“””Daddy, I want a Goose that Lays a Golden Egg””””””!!!
But...i guess i'll just have to keep eating those candybars until i find the Golden Ticket first!! ha!!!!!!