nothing says summer like naked sprinkler

the weather has finally broken i think.
veggies are in the ground
pool opens tomorrow
school is almost done for the year.....

i'm so happy to be moving into the next season.

the other night as i lay in my bed...i must tell you i had that Broken Heart feeling. like when you really FEEL pain in your heart. like that pain when you have your first love break up....when you think to yourself 'yeah, this must be what a broken heart feels like...

i can't say that i have had that feeling since way back when he was diagnosed....i remember laying on our bed in BG thinking that my heart was literally going to fall out of my chest....

i must be moving into another phase of Mourning.
i should get my book out and check...

i am feeling detached ...like...i'm always a step behind or a minute too late...not overwhelmed so much like earlier this year...just awkward i guess....i have been spending a lot of brain time thinking 'oh..i really should have done this or that'

i'm feeling let down as well, i picked up those little donuts that douglas and mr. k used to go buy every saturday morning thinking that we would take them out to the cemetery this weekend and have breakfast with daddy....but our memorial has not been delivered...and i was told that it would be in by Memorial Day....
now, we'll only have flags to put out...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm